i can do the cannes cannes

home

Sun, 25 May 2008 01:36:24 -0400

i’m sitting in my apartment, listening to music too loud for this time of night. i’ve forced myself to stay up to buck this jet lag. my mind is cloudy and my eyes are dim. i’m afraid that i’m writing non-sense.

it’s going to take a few days to get over cannes. the over stimulation and artificial sense of purpose. the beauty. the routine.

i feel under stimulated and am by myself for the first time in weeks. it’s good to be free and reconnect with the sense of self which was drowned in the glitz and glamour. trying to look pretty all the time isn’t good for your heart. home is the place where you can just be. i’m lucky to be able to say that i’m home.

what a trip.

Almost there

Sat, 24 May 2008 00:44:01 -0400

In a Paris hotel room, just got the wake up call, leaving for the airport soon. We are both totally sun burnt from yesterday’s glorious day at the beach. I’m ready to come home.

the end. sitting at the beach enjoying what the riviera has to...

Fri, 23 May 2008 08:39:00 -0400

the end. sitting at the beach enjoying what the riviera has to offer. sent from my blackberry.

almost done

Thu, 22 May 2008 09:01:32 -0400

Rock star by night, booth bitch by day.

Last night, it was a party at a beach front club then late night schwarmas.

Everyone is starting to leave. The Palais quiet and the hotels are emptying. You can feel the city sigh in relief. We are going to shut down our booth tomorrow, leave for Paris at 5pm on the TGV and then home.

Da beach.

Wed, 21 May 2008 09:52:02 -0400

Da beach.

"Film as dream, film as music. No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does,..."

Wed, 21 May 2008 03:45:00 -0400

“Film as dream, film as music. No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does, straight to our emotions, deep into the twilight room of the soul. A little twitch in our optic nerve, a shock effect: twenty-four illuminated frames a second, darkness in between, the optic nerve incapable of registering darkness”

- Ingmar Bergman

Photo

Wed, 21 May 2008 03:42:31 -0400

such is the life

Tue, 20 May 2008 09:42:00 -0400

In bed at 430 at the booth at 9, such is the life.

Last night I got a taste of the dark side. At the Du Cap a couple nights ago we met these two dudes, Mitch and Bucky, and bumped in to them last night as we were leaving this yacht party we had sneaked on to.

They took us to a place of true debauchery, The Cozy Box. It was dark, almost pitch black, there were future super models dancing on the sofas, bottles of champagne on every table. It’s the type of place where Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan do cocaine.

We were suspicious of Mitch and Bucky from the get go and what transpired confirmed this. We sat at a table, the waiter came over told us we had to order a $1000 bottle of champagne if we wanted to stay there. Mitch wasn’t in to that so we moved. Then Mitch says to me: “If we buy the cheapest bottle of champagne or vodka for $300 we can get a table. If we split it between us all it’s not so bad.” A financier living in Monaco doesn’t say things like this. I agreed. What the hell. The bottle arrives with assorted mixers. We get a tiny table with no chairs. We are the shlumps of the club. Then all of a sudden, Mitch disappears and the bill arrives. We quickly realize that Mitch and Bucky are trying to stiff us with the bill. We drop $50 on the table, grab the bottle, and simply walk out of the club, drinks still in hand and bottle in purse.

all tuxed up

Mon, 19 May 2008 05:57:00 -0400

I bought a tux at Zara the afternoon before the premier. Naturally, I had tried it on and it fit right. However, as I purchased the item the cashier said I had picked up the wrong pants and went to find the matching ones. She assured me they were the same size. As I scrambled to get dressed before they closed the red carpet to the plebeians I realized the pants were not the same size. They were much smaller. But I sucked it up and squeezed them and ran like James Bond to the red carpet. My friend sported a tie and was swiftly stopped by one of the ‘bouncers’ and forced to purchase a $20 bow tie. And then we were on the red carpet. Thousands of gawkers angeled their heads to get a better view, they waved at us and wondered who we were. What a thrill, what a rush, what a high. We were ushered inside where we could watch the celebs stroll in on the screen in the theatre. George Lucas, Harrison Ford, Kate Blanchett, Steven Spielberg etc. etc. The lights dimmed and the movie began (no trailers or annoying Coke commercials).

The film opens with a punchy car chase sequence and went downhill from there. It was at times gimmickie and self parodying. I fell asleep twice but enjoyed myself thoroughly. It’s a fun film and worth seeing if only for the blast from the past value.

After the film, all dressed up in our tuxes we went to a yacht party which felt more like Miami than Cannes, with bud light, buffalo wings, mini cheeseburgers, and pink strobe lights. Such are the sacrifices you have to make for free booze.

UPDATE: I’ve exchanged the pants.

where the stars come to relax

Sun, 18 May 2008 09:10:00 -0400

The log line:
4 guys and 1 girl tried to get in to the most exclusive party in the western world. 1 guy and 1 girl got very close to getting in, the other 3 didn’t.

The crew:
1 guy, a Cannes veteran, the other 3 clueless newbies(a marketing guy, an aspiring screenwriter, a former journalist) and a very pretty girl with a dash of panache and a healthy dose of wit, also a Cannes newbie.

The Incident:
The veteran promised a good time and packed the newbies on to a train for dinner in a neighbouring town, Juan-les Pins. Away from the crowds of Cannes, the crew mingled and ate and drank. A cab was called. The 3 guys got in one cab, the veteran, the marketing guy, and the aspiring screenwriter, while the girl with a dash of panache and the former journalist waited for a second cab. The Hotel Du Cap was their destination, one of the most exclusive hotels in the world, formerly, a retreat for artists gone crazy. The veteran told tales of splendor and grander and instructed the newbies not to gawk. The Du Cap is the place where the stars relax.

The former journalist and the girl arrived at the gates of the Du Cap and were waved in. Massive Doric columns and marble stairs greeted them. They saw someone holding a ticket. VANITY FAIR graced the envelope. The Vanity Fair party, perhaps the most exclusive party in western hemisphere, was being held. The former journalist and the girl had no idea what they were getting themselves in to. Beautiful women and stately men decked the halls.

It felt like walking through the pages of a magazine, surreal and ridiculous.

The veteran, the marketing guy, and the aspiring screenwriter weren’t as lucky. They weren’t allowed in. They tried lying; they tried scaling the walls; they tried hiding behind cars as they drove. To no avail.

The former journalist and the girl with a dash of panache strolled through the garden and found them self at the entrance of the Vanity Fair party. Fancy cars pulled up and fancy people got out. Will Smith and his wife appeared and walked in followed by a gaggle of ‘friends’. Word spread to the former journalist and the girl with panache that the rest of the crew was stuck outside. The former journalist tried to get them in. He went to talk to the concierge.

“My friends are the gate, can you tell them to let them in?”
“Are you a guest at the hotel?”
“No.”
“You are very lucky to be here, they can’t get in.”

And that was that. The night went on and the crew outside struggled to get in while those on the inside enjoyed $15 beers and $30 martinis. After about 45 mins, the crew on the outside called the crew on the inside and they all got in a cab together and went home.

___________

I got my tux for the premier tonight.

free vodka and red carpets

Sat, 17 May 2008 04:56:00 -0400

i’ve never seen so much free booze in my life. every table had a bottle of grey goose and champagne. nike had a nintendo wii setup and new shoes on display. it was the most branded party i’ve ever seen. if advertising is the way to free drinks sign me up. mike tyson was there as well. he’s stocky and fierce. he sat awkwardly in a ropped off VIP area the entire night. he acted like a kid at his older brother’s house party. everyone was there to see him but he seemed so out of place and uncomfortable. we got passes to the indiana jones premier tomorrow night. i have to find a tux to wear on the red carpet. i’ll post some pictures from the evening later today.

“When I see Tyson, I see a guy who’s scared, a guy who can’t do it on the up and up. In his world, he was never allowed to be scared, or even honest, and so he is neither of these things. He is lost. When Tyson is alone with himself, I don’t know if he believes there is one single person around him who is there because of his merits as a person. I don’t even know that the women would be around without his ability to raise money.” Joe D’Amato from David Remnick profile of Mike.

mike tyson party

Fri, 16 May 2008 13:58:00 -0400

last night was a shit show. we hit up all the hot spots. the majestic, the carlton, the martinez. champagne flowed and good times rolled. tonight is a party with mike tyson from 12am-4am. the market is bustling and the celebs are roaming.

Did you hear that Angelina is pregnant. She stands on the red carpet for the premier of Kung Fu Panda next to Dustin and Jack.

Faye Dunaway waits for her car. She kept coming outside to see...

Wed, 14 May 2008 17:19:00 -0400

Faye Dunaway waits for her car.

She kept coming outside to see if her car was there and stormed off in a huff three times when it wasn’t.

Natalie Portman is here

Wed, 14 May 2008 12:09:00 -0400

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn’t know. - H.L. Menchen

The red carpet is finished. Guards surround the steps. A gaggle of celeb gazers have been waiting with step ladders since last night. Anticipation grows. Supposedly Natalie Portman is upstairs. Holy shit, she is amazing. Sean Penn is also here, supposedly, he’s not as amazing. Had lunch at the beach. Spent 8 hours standing at our booth hocking our goods. My knees hurt. I’ve given away lots of promotional memory sticks. Tonight will be a gong show as all the celebs roll in.

Sean Penn arrives.

Worst job ever.

The Palais.

Wed, 14 May 2008 05:51:44 -0400

The Palais.

First night

Tue, 13 May 2008 14:49:32 -0400

First night

amidst desperation and drudge

Tue, 13 May 2008 13:41:00 -0400

Arrived. A 12 hour car ride from Paris to Cannes started things with much bonding in our group of 4 dudes and a 3am stop at a b&b. The palais, where our booth is located, is just like any trade show floor except it’s filled with desperation. Everyone is desperate for success amongst the ever present sense of potential perpetuated by the money bags of Hollywood. Everything has potential; everyone is a star. That is, until they have to cut a check. This keeps the creative fires burning and the endless drudge of movies coming. The red carpet is under construction. There is much excitement and energy. The streets are packed and you can feel this elderly city buckling with the pressure yet maintaining its elegance. Tonight we’ll go out before the zoo opens for official bizz. Stay tuned for photos.

Research.

Sun, 11 May 2008 14:07:00 -0400

Research.

"cannes is just a zoo"

Sun, 11 May 2008 14:03:00 -0400

I mean Cannes is just a zoo, it’s like a circus. You’re just running around like a maniac. - Rob Reiner

Packing now. Don’t know what to bring. It’s my first foray into ‘the bizz’. Doing some research now. Watching Entourage episodes about Cannes. Fuck, this is what my life has become - research means watching Entourage. Oh god.

30 minutes in to my research I see what I’ve gotten myself into. An event where egos and money and flesh collide in a smorgasbord of Hollywood pipe dreams.

It’s going to be quite a ride. Stay tuned for more.